Being Part One In An Educational Series

As His Exemplary Highness, The Honorable Archduke, Acting Supreme Overlord Of The Chief Executive Headmasters Of the Venerable Order Of The Quite Mighty Goose, I am often asked:

Were you always such a douchebag?

Yes.


But, enough about me.


I post today in an effort to educate the masses about the Vaguely Holy Order of the Astonishingly Mighty Goose.

To that end, I present an excerpt from 'The Birth of a Gander: An Introduction to the World's Most Secret of Societies' [Phelge, Nanker, Anderson Council Publishing, (C) 1962, 63, 75]

"Chapter 1: THE FOUNDING, or How To Lose Your Mind In Ten Days

Our Order was founded many years ago, in honor of, and out of support and respect for, the Ever So Necessary Earthly Mission of the Benevolent Goose of Humility.

"The who?" I hear you plead.

It's "whom," dear.

As I was saying, our Wise And Witty Three-Fathers became aware of The Triune Goose of Come-Uppance when The Third, Most Curly Father encountered His Winged Retribution on the field of battle.

The Beringletted Father left the field that day with nary more than his life and a lesson: Arrogance and Disrespect will always be met with naught but the Wrath of a Furious Fowl.

As he related his harrowing tale of the Immeasurably Magnificent Goose to the other Fathers, the Dashing One and Frodo-Fingers, a moment of unprecidented epiphany, a Tri-DADM of sorts, occured. It was in that instance these Three Most Distinguished Fathers realized what they most do:

To create an Order fit to spread the Mighty Goose's message; that of Peace through the Seemingly Random Yet Divinely Distributed Infliction of Minor Injury upon those of Slightly High Self Esteem, was the task set before the Fathers, and it is a task we uphold to this very day, and aim to continue far beyond any conceivable punchline."

We of the Order thank you for your time and ask that you return to learn more as the days go on.

Novus Ordo Anserous.
Long Live The Goose.